Waiting...

Oh the wait...

Why do I always find myself waiting?

Why is everything I want in the future and not "here and now"?

Perhaps in some other dimension I'd find it...
Maybe if everything past, present and future is happening all at once and time is nothing but our imagination as physicists suggest... Then maybe there is a Me in a parallel universe right now that has everything I desire...

Somewhere... Just not Here and Now...


Oh Time, why won't you run as fast as my heart beats?

Why are You slow when You need to be fast, and fast when You need to be slow?

Why do You have it backwards?

Why do you keep me waiting? It's so hard... It hurts so much... Why do you keep doing this?

How am I supposed to enjoy the present if my heart's not Here? It's not here in space nor time...

On second thought maybe you do run as fast as my heart, for when I'm with him my heart beats fast as so do you. And when I'm not my heart stands still and so do you...

Maybe we do control time in that way...

It seems the answer would be to do more of the things I love so my heart beats faster and time with it...
It looks simple but the truth is it's hard to appreciate those things without him to share them with.

It's hard going back to just being one person, one half of a heart, one half of a life...


Technology is such a mediocre substitute... I'm tired of words!

Words can't express love the way a kiss can! They can't even describe the way a simple touch of hands feels...

How can my heart beat fast enough if all I have are words to fill my days?

Minutes feel like hours and I can't stand it! But I must and so I do!

I'll keep waiting... Picturing a future that is not yet here, as it helps with the pain of being away in time and space.

For as long as it takes, I'll be Here waiting for that future to become the Now... 


Nothing else matters but Love.

So I wait...